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    July 05

    碎碎念的夜

        一。
        机缘巧合地在这个阴沉闷热的傍晚享受独自一人的晚餐,独自一人的电影。本还奢望电影结束后能落些小雨,以便让这一晚来得更惬意些,可生活中毕竟不存在完美。也罢,我还是已经知足,所以心情也变得颇为明快。背起大包,塞上耳机,懒散地将自己置于陌生的人群里,我行我素地讲电话,大笑,踱步,抽烟,吃冰棒,系鞋带,偶尔滴落些雨在脸上,海鲜汤和牛排,剧场门前的圆桌圆凳,一个人怎么也吃不光的大桶爆米花,还有随着电影情节亦喜亦悲的小情绪……一切都跟这慵钝的夏夜搭配得如此妥帖,都是我所想我所愿的,都这般美好。
        二。
        近来总会掂量“朋友”这个词。总觉现实里“朋友”也会来得太过宽泛和随意,失掉了其中本应含有的谨慎,信任,以及,或许,还夹有点儿协调,像是莽撞拼凑的音符总不会是什么好曲子,我们也要花些时间去思量拿捏。
        下车时有人挡住了去路,我们会说:朋友,借过下;超市里够不到货架高处的东西,我们会说:朋友,帮忙下;跟小商贩讨价:朋友,便宜些;有求于久未谋面,甚至名字都不记得的老同学:朋友,吃个便饭;催促合租室友交电费:朋友,轮到你了;向厌恶的同事表明立场:朋友,离远点儿……太多太多这样的情节里,“朋友”都是如此尴尬生硬勉强别扭的词。又或许,只有我在故作姿态,只有我的要求过高,标准过于理想。如是尔尔。
        三。
        开始高调筹划向往了很久的独自旅行,明知不该如此张扬,却总是难耐的心中激动。不管怎样,我都会尽力完成。
     

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